If you have read my first blog piece, I introduced you to ENERGY SOUP. The term I use for the invisible energy which surrounds us all the time, whether conscious or not of it being there.
Before I knew about being energy and the energy connection impact, when I was a BLIND UNKNOWING CASUALTY, I had no idea that I had been so sensitive to others thoughts and feelings as I grew up. It sure explains some of my experiences and behaviour as a child.
Growing up in an era when conversations about mediums or psychics were a rare thing indeed. Talk of humans being energy and Empaths, never heard of, which meant I had no knowledge if the articles I did find had any truth, but I sure had a lot of curiosity about the possibility.
Not knowing Energy soup exists, left me living as a casualty of the experience and only since I have gained knowledge and mastered skills, have I become a CONSCIOUS CONNECTED DESIGNER in my life.
Not knowing it was there, did not prevent its impact. Not knowing did not mean it was not happening. Suddenly knowing that our invisible connection has such a profound impact on who I was, who I believed myself to be, was scary. It was also the greatest gift to be given as it was insightful and gave me opportunity to change things in a deep and permanent way.
I was able to learn how my personality started to be formed before I was born. There was the energy coming together from both my mother and my father, passing down inherited energy from both lines. I then started to make decisions for myself based on my mother’s experiences, as her experiences and mine were one in the same. While in utero my mother’s feelings and thoughts generated chemical reactions and I felt them just as she did. While my mum was making her inner decisions from those experiences, I was making mine based on the same energy vibration connected to the feelings and thoughts.
Here's an example:
A mother who has a shock, horror reaction when she find out she's pregnant, has a physical and chemical reaction that happens. The baby experiences the emotional reaction along with the same physical reactions and there you have the first major point of decision making for this life-time. There is a high chance of this baby deciding things such as: I'M NOT WANTED, or I'M NOT LOVED or something similar.
My own foundation decision was I'm not wanted, I'm wrong and have to be secret, as my parents had made a promise to my grandmother not to have kids until they had a house. Guess what, they had no house and along came me. My mother went into panic and keep her pregnancy a secret for as long as possible.
I certainly set myself up for a tough journey and it impacted every friendship, relationship and goal to be successful I have ever had.
This decision led me to live a life of being very private, very happy to mix with others and hear about their lives, but I gave very little away about me, my feelings or anything I did. (The secret aspect). The last 30+ years, I have spent exploring and learning about Energy soup and its impact in such depth and from so many angles. I was also personally challenged by the aligned compounding decisions I had put in place over my lifetime since that pre-birth decision. My life continued to hit up against my foundation decisions and the associated life patterns that had formed.
I lacked self-confidence, self-esteem, very self-critical and condemning. I was probably harder on myself than the world could ever have been. I was very lonely as a child and teenager but became so familiar with lonely, that I just became a loner, not getting close to anyone for fear of hurt and rejection.
I got into poor relationships, some even abusive. Their treatment confirming the truths I held about myself.
With the training I received and the tools of completing and clearing those decisions from my life, things changed, and I started the re-designing of who I was and what I was able to do. I created new life patterns.
The more challenges that I became conscious of, the more opportunities I had to re-design my energy personality, (that which lives through the physical body). The results were clear. With each shift it was easier to share with others and connect in new ways. It changed my relationships enormously and repaired a broken marriage in the process.
The foundation beliefs become the truth filters by which everything else is experienced. Truth filters are your rose-coloured glasses, each time an experience is had which matches the foundations ones, the foundation truths get stronger and life continues to manifest in alignment with these truths. Truth filters create life patterns and experiences.
Kerry